My Values (Question #3 of 35)

Self-Awareness

What are my values and am I being true to them? Write down the 3 most important aspects of each of these areas: family, friends, work, health, sex, and spirituality. These are your values. When we don't act congruently with what we value, symptoms of discomfort arise.


Wow this question really hits home, but honestly when I started writing these values down I felt really good about each one. Now have I been consistently been holding true to all my values (I plead the 5th...lol)? Well here we go:

• Family
• Protect the family name (I'm extremely proud of the stock that I come from, and over many decades my fore-parents have laid a foundation of respect, admiration, and in a sense nobility. On many occasions I have been afforded opportunities - denied to others - because of my lineage. And I don't want to tarnish that for future generations)
• Secure its survival ( I am the only male heir that my father has, therefore in order for his line to continue I have to do my part and reproduce. I don't take this lightly, however it takes a special woman to carry the Montford blood line - I can't entrust it to just any woman.
• Enjoy them (I share a closeness with my family, that for some reason is uncommon to most. We genuinely enjoy spending time together - eating, laughing, talking, etc. - whether its a special occasion or not. My cousins seem to be more like siblings than cousins, most of the time)
• Friends
• To be a "true" friend (In order to get a friend, you 1st have to be a friend. I have a very short list of people I actually consider to be a friend - but I have many acquaintances. I can be honest, forth-coming, and candid withe my friends on any subject or situation)
• Respect for their stance (Just because I have a small circle of friends doesn't mean we all share the same mind. Many of my friends come from different religious, cultural, and ethnic backgrounds. But regardless of our differences we can have conversations and not arguments, engage in dialogue and not debates, and at the end of the day agree to civilly disagree.
• Enjoy them (I consider my friends extended family - most of them at some point have interacted with my family and have been unofficially adopted anyway - so the same rules apply.)
• Romantic Relationships
• Give Love (This is one value I must admit I have not really held tightly to. Probably because of fear, the fear that I don't have what it takes to give love like I should)
• Receive Love (This one has also been a dozy for me, mainly because since I have been afraid to give love and don't feel it is just for me to receive it. It's a crazy notion, I know but just being candid.)
• Transparency (I have not been the most transparent person in these types of relationships. Not so much that I have anything to hide all of the time, its just don't feel the need to expose certain things. Maybe getting better at this value will be a by-product of getting the previous two values in check.)
• Work
• Do my best or don't do it all (As I get older I steadily get better at this - probably because I realize I don't have as much time to waste as I used to. But generally speaking its easy for me to give me best when its something I enjoy and/or I can see the direct benefit. It's a bit harder when my interest is very lax.)
• Improve everyday (I am to get 1% better everyday of my life. I enjoy the consistency of seeing myself getting better overtime.) 
• Enjoy what I'm doing (If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.)
• Health
• Physically sound (I have been an athlete my entire and its just a part of who I am to acquire and maintain top physical performance - as well as looks.)
• Mentally sound (I tend to read quite a bit a - philosophical, allegorical, instructional, improvement literature - so I'm always challenging my mental faculties.)
• Emotionally sound (Now this area traditionally has been neglected in my life. I guess because it's not as ease to understand, for logic and reason are rarely found in this arena. However, recently I have understood that I need to start getting in tune with this area of my life.)
• Sex
• Within the confines of marriage (Well I have already drop the ball in this area several times. But I have made a commitment to wait until I married before the next time I engage in sexual activity. But with marriage not in sight or even on the horizon, it's getting tougher with each passing day.)
• With only one person (A monogamous sexual relationship, almost seems like a foreign concept.)
• Please my partner (When I was younger I engaged in sexual activity purely for self-gratification. At that time, even pleasing my partner was for personal gratification. However, in recent years, I enjoyed pleasing my partner, just because...)
• Spirituality
• Seek God's (I have, in recent years began to earnestly began to seek God's face/glory/purpose for my life. It is a journey that has take me to and through situations that I could have never fathomed. 2 Chronicles 7:14)
• Hear God's voice (God speaks, not only to me but all of us, in so many ways. Sometimes through dreams, at other times through people, even through situations. I just earnestly want to be in a place where when God speaks to me - no matter how he speaks - that I hear his voice and can respond to it appropriate. I have really been working on this and it has been worth the effort so far.)
• Do God's will (This is probably the hardest thing to do because often times God's will is counter-intuitive to what society has programmed us to do. In short, it doesn't feel right. But Isaiah 55: 8-9 tells us, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than you ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." That works for me.)