Just Do It (Question #21 of 35)

Business / Entrepreneurship

Can you get it done now?

Carpe Diem, Latin for seize the day, a phrase that many of us are familiar with and see or hear on a fairly regular basis. I was first introduce to it in sixth grade by my science teacher, Mr. Ordell (funny the things you remember sometimes). It's a simple enough phrase to comprehend, at least on a mental or academic level; but what does Carpe Diem really mean and how do we effectively seize the day. How do I turn this cliche-ish (please note cliche-ish is not an actually word I made it up for literary effect) and seemingly abstract phrase, into to something more concrete and palatable. For me (because I'm not the smartest man in the world) I try to stick with the KISS princple (Keep It Simple Stupid). It's all about setting long-term and short-term goals and prioritizing daily activities that will help you achieve your short-term goals in the time set forth and if there is time left over to do anything else then do that. Everyone has different goals and aspirations, therefore everyone's path and priorities will be different. Sometimes my priorities don't make sense to my parents (esp. my mom), and sometimes my sisters priorities don't make sense to me but that is perfectly okay as long as everyone keeps the main thang (once again literary effect, I know the spelling is off) the main thang and everyone inches towards there goals I believe it's all good. Set goals (long and short-term), prioritizing tasks based on importance, and then git'er done (in my Larry the cable guy voice).

The Nitty Gritty (Question #20 of 35)

Business / Entrepreneurship

What are we talking about? What problem are we solving? 

"Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Understanding is one of the greatest things in the world, misunderstanding one of the worst." I often hear my dad and my grandfather saying these to me in the back of my mind. Far too often, I think, we as people assume that others know what we are talking about as implicitly as we do, often times this is not the case. In my years of with and negotiating with other businesses I find that because of differing backgrounds, company cultures, & etc. there is often a language barrier between individual persons and/or groups of people. Often because of these barriers the parties of interest are talking about different things and have differing concepts in mind. So how do we get past these "language barriers" and begin to speak the same vernacular and get on the same page, so that everyone knows what is being talked about? Fortunately many people are have studied this phenomena and come up with systematic ways that conversations can be structured so that all parties involved have a mutual understanding of everything being conveyed. I personally have used some of these myself and must admit that most are effective, nevertheless no matter how effective a style may be some modifications must be made to fit your style of speaking and the audience you are speaking to. But something that works for me 100% is something so easy and simple to do that a 5th grader is capable of it. I know that I am not the smartest man in the world so I try to keep things as simple as possible (the KISS rule). When I am attempting to convey an idea or concept to another person I try to explain in a fashion that if I were to explain to a 5th grader that they would be able to explain it to another adult and it be understood. If I can't explain it that simplistically then my explanation is to complicated and I need to go back to the drawing board.

Another issue that I have recognized is that people are are always coming up with solutions but never really identify the problem that is being solved. Often times from the outside looking in others can see the inefficiencies, ineffectiveness of what is going on within an organization (eg. external auditors), that those within the organization are to close to see. Therefore outsiders will present solutions before insiders have conceded that there is a problem that needs to be solved. "If it ain't broke don't fix" is the mentality that many insiders have and rightfully so, would you fix a watch that wasn't broken, I think not it would be a waste of time and money. Therefore a problem must be clearly identified and agreed upon before a solution(s) can be presented.

Business Decisions (Question #19 of 35)

Business / Entrepreneurship

What’s the potential upside? What’s the effort involved? What’s the likelihood of success? What’s the strategic value?

To those of you who may not be aware I have started my own Personal Training business (EnMotion Training) and prior to starting any business or pursuing a new opportunity a cost-benefit analysis should be done. Simply put the cost-benefit analysis is just a way to quantify how much benefit you receive from a particular pursuit in comparison to what has to be given to receive said benefit; every opportunity has a cost associated with it and it’s not always measured in dollars and cents. 

The formula I am using is [(A x B) / C] x D:

·         A = Potential Upside: 1-5 pts

·         B = Likelihood of Success: 1-10 pts

·         C = Effort Involved: 1-10 pts

·         D = Strategic Value: 1-3 pts

Starting a Business (Question #18 of 35)

Business / Entrepreneurship

What questions must you consider before starting a business?

• What is my product or service?
• What makes my product/service different or better?
• What is my market opportunity?
• How do I make money?
• Who is the management team?
• What is the strategy?
• How do I sale or market my product/service?
• How much capital do I need/intend to raise?
• What are the projected financials for the company?
• What is the preliminary valuation for the company?

Please note these questions are not from the top of my head. However, there is no need to re-invent the wheel.

Just Do It (Question #17 of 35)

Business / Entrepreneurship

What's the one most important thing to get done today/ this week/ month?

The answer(s) to this question(s) is very fluid, therefore I'm not going to answer this one as directly as I have previous questions. I'm a post-it, sticky note kinda guy so things that I are important and need to be done with a certain time frame are usual found on a sticky note. Now that they have created a sticky note/ post-it note app the desktop on my computer is loaded with them (and not my office, bedroom, kitchen, etc.) Also my google calender is the best thing since sliced bread, I enter my appointments, add comments, and comments, invite guests, set reminders and etc. Google calendar is really a God-send for me as far as staying organized.

What is My Why? (Question #16 of 35)

Business / Entrepreneurship

What is My Why?

"If you have a big enough WHY you'll always figure out the What and the How. If you don't have a BIG WHY, you will always use the What and the How as an excuse for not doing that thing you said you were going to do."
-Jason Nazor (CEO/Founder of DocStoc)

My WHY is I want to do things my way. I have come to realize that I value the ideas and concepts that others may have but at the end of the day I want to do it may way. Now my way may intersect or converge with someone else's, but when the dust settles I want it done my way. This is not to say that I don't work well with or get along with others (I believe most would say I have good interpersonal skills) however I'm not designed to work "for" others. It more or less irritates me to have someone (or group) tell me what I can or can't do, or how I can or can't do it. Also it irritates me to be the "someone" whom is telling people what they can or can't do. The way I view things is that we are all grown, and have goals we would like to obtain. If we have common goals I'm open to forming a mutually beneficial alliance/partnership/etc, so that all parties involved can/will prosper and no one feels cheated.

I am not a slave, nor am I an overseer, therefore I don't work on a plantation. I enjoy networking and working with others, I am not a fan of working for others. And let's not get things twisted, this doesn't mean I can't work on a regular "9 to 5" job that has a standard set of rules, regulations and a hierarchy, but what truly matters to me is the atmosphere and environment in which I am working. The core mentality of the organization & its employees. However I'm not going to go into deep detail with all that, I can write a book on that subject (possibly several). But that's my WHY, doing things my way, take it or leave it I guess.

1% Everyday (Question #15 of 35)

Influence / Achievement

What can I do today to improve?

The person that I am today is the sum total of all the decisions that I have made in the past, no matter how big or how small. When I was in college one of my coaches used to say "make sure you get 1% better today." Another one of my coaches, Coach Sloan (my position), would always say, "take care of the little things and the big things will take care of themselves." Words of wisdom that I have never forgotten, maybe not adhered to as often as I should, but nevertheless the wisdom imparted within me is still there. Even now as a personal trainer the first thing I express to a potential client is incremental changes. The small changes made constantly and over time become apart of who we are as a person and changes our lifestyle (the big change).

Today I will be/am contacting persons who can help me get rolling with creating & manufacturing EnMotion Training apparel. Also I will be writing a letter to the NFL that will express my interest in becoming an NFL official and asking what are the eligibility requirements, prerequisites, & etc. Next is sending a proposition to a person that, I hope, will help me acquire more personal training clients. And last but not least STUDY, STUDY, STUDY and when I get finish STUDYING go and STUDY some more.

5 years (Question #14 of 35)

Influence / Achievement

What do you want your life to be in 5 years?

This question is easy and difficult all at the same time (what a paradox), mainly because in the last 9 months I have been through some major changes in my life, which has (1) changed my perspective on life in general, and (2) changed what I want out of life. I guess I will start with my career, as you may or may not know I have been officiating high school football for several years now. At first I was just doing it because I just wanted to be around the game that I love and devoted so many years of my life to (plus I didn't want to coach). But now after having worked with so many officials on many different levels, I have begun to see officiating as a possible permanent career move, and not just a side job or a hobby. I am already on the payroll for the NFL (I work with their High School Development Program), so in a sense my foot is already in the door. It seems that within the next 3 - 5 years, because of so many officials with 20 + years, the NFL will see a "mass exodus" of officials and they will have to be replaced, rather expeditiously. Therefore I'm working on getting into the NFL Referee Development Program within the next 3 years so I will be in a good position when all the chips begin to move.

Also career wise, recently I have made a career change, switch from the industrial industry to the health & fitness industry. It's a change that I only regret not making it happen sooner. It has not been necessarily easy but it has been enjoyable every step of the way. I truly enjoy making a positive impact on other people's lives. Society has got all of us so infected with this me, myself & I syndrome that we rarely appreciate the fact that something we may say or do can help another person take a step in the right direction. After every session with a client I always seem to feel better, no matter how difficult the session was, because they always seem to push farther and work harder than they ever imagined they could before the session started. It provides people with some self-actualization and increases their self-esteem as well as their work ethic. All that be said within in 5 years I would like to open my own gym, and set it up with the vision I have in mind. Giving people access to a wide range of traditional and nontraditional training equipment and atmosphere.

 I guess last but not least is my personal life, with each passing day I creep closer and closer to 30 and it seems kinda surreal. I realize, I am far from old but I am not as young as I use to be either; and each year seems to go by quicker and quicker. I think at some point every man gets to a point where he's for the most part done what he has wanted to do and conquered a reasonable portion of what he has set out to conquer and then asks himself "now what?" And I guess that is where I am now I have done things that I very proud of and other things, not so much, but now I'm here asking myself "now what?" Hopefully within the next 5 years I can find a young lady with whom I can connect with on a different level and we have similar goals, views, and values that would make a long-term union feasible. Who knows maybe she's already in my life, and then again maybe not, like the old saying goes "timing is everything."

Better (Question #13 of 35)

Influence / Achievement

What/Who did you make better today?

In a world that has infected many of us with the "me, myself, & I" syndrome, most of us never think about how we may improve someone else's life, only our own. Personally, over the past year I have begun to understand how important it is to "pour into someone else." In the past, I'm not sure my motives for "pour into others" has always been genuine - normally there is some benefit that will result from my actions either in the present or later in the future. It was almost like I was making deposits in the "Bank of Good Deeds" so when I needed to make a withdrawal I would have no problem - because I have "paid my dues." But keeping score isn't a moral or Godly way of pouring yourself into others.

In my life I have had great firsthand examples of pouring into others and enhancing the lives of others - just for the sake of doing so. My grandparents, on both sides of my family, are in my eyes the ultimate examples of "giving of yourself." My mother's mom (who is now deceased) was a woman that was always doing for someone else. She never had a lot money or material possessions, but that never stopped her from giving her time, her advice, feeding others & etc. My father's parents (whom are still alive) have poured into the lives of so many people that they have more "children" than the law allows (LOL). My grandmother will feed anybody that comes through those front doors, and will make sure you have a plate to take with you. But yet as much as she cooks, feeds others, and gives away food, there never seems to be a lack or shortage at anytime. The more they give, the more they have to give. David's words in Psalms 37:25 certainly ring true, " I have been young, and now I am old; yet have I never seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging for bread." As we pour ourselves into others and make others better, God will continue to pour into us and make us better. A closed fist cannot give nor can it receive; a full glass cannot be poured into. As long as our fists remain closed and our glasses remain full, we cannot / will not enhance our lives nor the lives of the others the we encounter daily.

Last year my grandfather retired from pastoral service, and I was the "chairman" of the committee who organized the events to celebrate his 40+ years of pastoral service. One of the nights of the revival I invited Pastor Thaddeus Jones and he said something in his sermon that still rings fresh in my ears today. "...the true mark of a man's success, is having a successor." WOW...that statement hit me like a ton of bricks. In essence Pastor Jones was saying that if you are not pouring yourself into another, or into others, then your life has been spent in vain, because once your time is done all you have worked for will pass away and be blown away like chaff in the wind. The greatest joy and jubilation is knowing in your heart, that you have not run this race in vain and you can confidently pass the mantle on to the next generation and they will take things to heights that your "...eye[s] have not seen, nor [your] ear[s] heard..." (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Why ask why? (Question #12 of 35)

Influence / Achievement

Why not? What would happen if...?

"Don't rock the boat," "To get along, go along," "Just go with the flow," these are just a few of the many quotes/phrases we have heard all our lives that promote the status quo. Why is conformity pushed so hard upon us - not only in our society & culture, but around the world. Personally I think it is because we have a internal need (or desire) to be apart of a group that is a reflection of our personality, likes, & dislikes. Think about whom we interact with - of our own free will, not co-workers - on a regular basis. These people normally have similar interests, morals, values & etc. Therefore, I guess we tend to agree out of habit because we are used to being around people (those we choose to be around) that are agreeable. However, still there are other times we agree because we are forced or compelled to do so.

As I mentioned in the prior paragraph, I have an inclination that we tend to agree because of habit and sometimes social acceptance. But what would happen if we began to question the status quo - sometimes just for the sake of playing devil's advocate. A very poignant experience I had was when I began to teach bible study class at the church I was a member of. I, by far, was the youngest person in the class, each member of the class was at least 25-30 years my senior. So here I am teaching a bible study class to people who have been going to church longer than I had been alive. But what was so interesting is that I didn't teach bible study as they probably had been accustomed to. Often times we would go through scriptures and I would ask challenging and sometimes uncomfortable questions. And these questions many times didn't have a right or wrong answer but it was presented in order to spark a discussion; internally within each person, and externally with the class. Then I began to realize that these "discussion questions" we shedding a whole new light on the scriptures that even I had not anticipated. Sometimes I believe the discussions were more enlightening to me than to some of the students...lol. But another thing I noticed is that the students would start bringing questions of their own to the table (I call it coming to class with your guns loaded) and everyone's experience was enhanced. I guess you could say that by the end, to ask "what if" or "why" became the status quo in our class.

In my sight, there is nothing wrong with challenging the establishment and their line of thinking. It all comes down to timing and presentation/delivery. Not all people can be persuaded at all times about all things. Nevertheless, there is a time and place and season where challenges, and the presentation thereof, are acceptable to all most anyone. For me it is not question of "why should I challenge...,"or "what will happen if I challege...," the questions are "when should I challenge...," & "how should I present this challenge..."

Today or tomorrow? (Question #11 of 35)

Perspective

Should I be focused on today or tomorrow?

I'm not going to put much into this post, because I pretty much answered this question in my previous post (question 10) and I am not a fan of needless redundancy. However, I will say this savor the present but don't forget the future. Life is a balance of knowing when to enjoy the moment and when to plant seeds for tomorrow's harvest.

Live Like You Were Dying (question # 10 of 35)

Perspective

If I we dying, would I worry about this?

From the day were are born we all take a step closer to death's door with each passing day, hour, minute, and second. However, it is not until we feel death's impending doom at our doorstep that we actually take a step back and start to view our lives from a whole different perspective. I'm not sure how many of you are aware of this but I'm a fan of country music - mainly because of the stories that the songs often tell. There is one song in particular, by Tim McGraw, called "Live Like You Were Dying." And the story is very simple, Tim is talking to a guy who had found out sometime ago he had cancer. As well all know, despite the advances in modern medicine, being diagnosed with cancer is viewed as a slow death sentence. So Tim asks the man what did you do when the surrealness actually sank in that this might be the end, the man told him "I went sky diving, I went Rocky Mountain Climbing, I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu. And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I had been denying. And he said someday I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dying."

The reason I like this song so much is because we get so caught up in the monotonous, mundane, and minuscule cares of this world that we forget the every single day, hour, & moment that God gives us is a divine gift (that's why it's called the present).  Jesus tell us in Matthew 6:34, "Take no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought of the things itself. Sufficient to the day is the evil therof." The past is history and can't be changed (don't dwell on it), tomorrow is not promised (do not fear it), today is a divine gift (enjoy it).

Never scared (Question # 9 of 35)

Perspective

If I weren't scared what would I do?

2 Timothy 1:7, "For God hath not us the spirit of fear; but of power, and love, and a sound mind." As I have gotten older I have begun to look at the world a bit differently. There is an old saying that "time flies when your having fun" but the converse to that is also true, "time flies when your not having fun." Time as no respect for man, woman, or child; it will continue to pass whether we want it to or not, and whether we take advantage of it or not.

Earlier this year I made some "gutsy" decisions as it relates to my life. I left my job, I left the church I had been a member of since I was 11 ( as well as being an associate minister their since 2011), and the young lady I was dating for a year and half came to a consensus that we should go our separate ways. And if all this was not enough all there of these significant event transpired within 7 days of each other. However, after digesting all these events I began to realize that I had began to have a mental clarity that I not sure I have ever had before. I began to workout regularly again and lost 17 lbs. in nine weeks. Then started my own personal training business -EnMotion Training: check me out on facebook, instagram, & twitter - something I have had in my heart to do for many years.

By no means has this "transition" in my life been easy or comfortable, but I believe I that I have been equipped to endure all the hardships, failures, and successes that are in my immediate future and beyond. So many moons from now when I'm to feeble to go any further I can sit in my rocking chair, facing toward the west, watch the sun set and say to myself "I wasn't ever scared."

3 Daily Questions (Question #8 out of 35)

Happiness / Peace of Mind

What did I learn today? Who did I love? What made me laugh?

I guess I get to answer the 3-piece combo today. That fact that I am a student - and will probably always be a student in one fashion or another - I learn at least one something everyday. However as I have matured and the focus on my studies have changed I have evolved from a more abstract and theoretical learning to a more practical learning. Let me further explain this concept, during my matriculation from K-12th grade, and even in college, I have probably used 25% or less of what I have learned in a practical life application. Since the time I have earned my undergraduate degree. Most of everything that I have learned, whether it be in a classroom setting or not, has been something that was immediately life applicable (whether it actually worked well for me or not is besides the point). Some of the things I learn on daily basis are biblical in nature, philosophical, occupational, even emotional (need quite a bit of work in this area, but I'm getting better).

Who did I love? Of course I love my parents, sibling, other family, friends, & my dog (Akilles); but what actually defines what actually love is? If I do not know what love is, how can I know if I have truly loved someone. The apostle Paul defines love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, "[Love] suffereth long, [love] envieth not, [love] vaunteth not itself, it is not puffed up...beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endurath all things." The standards of love that Paul lays down are pretty stern and not always easy to up hold, however if I have truly loved someone all these standards will have been met. As I peruse Paul's definition of love I realize that there I people that I actually do love. People that I will suffer with and for, people rejoice with in their triumphs, people whom I will pour myself out to with no expectation of anything in return. And the biggest thing for me, I guess is that loving others helps me to love myself, as well as accept love from others.

What made me laugh? Life in general makes me laugh. The people I deal with, the people I see in passing, the situations I go through, the stories other people tell, its all hilarious to me at times. Especially, during difficult times sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. So no matter what season I am going through, good or bad, I now always make a conscience effort to laugh (many times just simply at myself).

Achievement (Question #7 out of 35)

Happiness / Peace of Mind

If I achieved all my life's goals how would I feel? How can you feel that along the way?

It's really difficult for me to even fathom achieve ALL my life's goals. I can definitely fathom achieve the "lion's share" of my life's goals (typically the bigger, longer term goals). But to answer the question I guess to achieve all my life's goals would be a surreal feeling; probably like reaching the summit of Mt. Everest, or winning a Superbowl / World Series / NBA Championship / FIFA World Cup. Such a small population of people, in the history of the world, have ever accomplished these feats that they seem almost impossible. And for most of us those feats are probably impossible because we are trained to take on the riggers that come with the journey that accomplishing those feats will take you down. So that begs the question: Have I trained myself to be able to walk down the path that will lead me to accomplishing ALL my life's goals? Hmmm, I think I'm still in training...LOL.

How can I experience that surreal feeling along the way? (These are some monstrously thought provoking questions) Well I guess if I apply the way I do my warm-up runs before workouts I that could give me a good base. Let me explain about 3 or 4 months ago I started working out regularly again, and before I workout I run approximately 2 miles around my neighborhood. Well recently I changed my route and now I have an uphill run on the side of this monstrous hill, at the midway point of my run. I don't like to stop on my run so as I go up mini Mt. Everest I pick landmarks about 10 - 15 yards in front of my and once I reach the landmark I repeat the process to I make it to the summit, and my body goes back into cruise control. Hitting each landmark is an exhilarating experience for me and gets me excited about hit the next landmark, and now that I think about I am just as excited about hitting my landmarks as I am about beating my personal best times on my runs. How about that never realized that before. Therefore, if I apply this strategy to achieving all my smaller goals in life, I can obtain that surreal feeling all the way to accomplishing all my life's goals. It's probably easier said than done but it's definitely worth a shot.

"Shoulds" (Question #6 of 35)

Happiness / Peace of Mind

Are my "shoulds" getting in the way of my happiness?

All of us have certain responsibilities/obligations that we must take care of, the things that we "should" do (e.g. pay our bills/debts, take care of our families, etc.). However, there are some self-imposed "shoulds," that are not critical to our existence, that we all work diligently  to acquire, possess, and obtain. Some of these "shoulds" are more concretely based and are materialistic in nature: I "should" have a nice(er) house, car, boat, etc. Other "shoulds" are more abstract and emotionally based: reverence for various actions preformed, an award for an achievement, and so on. The pursuit of these "shoulds" tend to leave us drained, physically, mentally, and sometimes financially; these "shoulds" ultimately leave us unfulfilled, even if we obtain our self-imposed "shoulds."

The term I have designated for these self-imposed "shoulds" is hedonistic "shoulds" (came up with that all by myself...LOL). Hedonistic "shoulds" are the result of our excessive pursuit of fleshly pleasure; and the kicker is that we pursue most, if not all, of these "shoulds" because everyone else is pursuing the same "shoulds." The reason for everyone's pursuit of these "shoulds" is because of scarcity, and to obtain some or most of these "shoulds" you are placed into an elite class. Question: why are diamonds more coveted than than cubic zirconias? Answer: because they are more scarce and to have one, or many (preferably), signifies to others you are person of means and high social status. ( Now let that marinate for a minute)

Over the past 6 months or so, I have seen a steady decline in my hedonistic "shoulds" and an increase in my happiness. It seems almost counter-intuitive I have less access to various material pleasures, than I have in the past yet I am happier than I have been since I was in college. With each passing day I begin to understand how Paul felt when he wrote in his letter to the Philippians, "...for I have learned, that whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and with all things I am instructed to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengthenth me." (Philippians 4: 11-13). I'm not sure where were this journey will lead me, but I know where I have been and how miserable I was and I never want to go back to that type of existence: alive but not truly living, wasting the precious time God has given in pursuit of something that ultimately makes me feel worse than when I first began...smh.

I Don't Know (Question #5 of 35)

Self-Awareness

What do I know, that I don't know?

Anyone who knows me can tell you that do not have an issue with telling someone that "I don't know." However, in addition to the admission of my ignorance I will make an earnest and conscious effort to finding out the answer to the question or point the person in the right direction so that they can find the correct answer for themselves. Some people want to feel like they are the smartest person in the room, that's not me (If I am the smartest person in the room, them the whole room is in trouble...LOL). I prefer (better yet yearn) to surround myself with people - in know for a fact - are smarter than I. That way I have the opportunity to glean from their vast groves of knowledge and experience. Which in turn can/will make me better, so that I can "pour into others" and potentially make them better. As I conclude this post, to actually list the things that I know I do not know would take me more time than I have to write, and more time than you have to read. Therefore, I will kindly spare each of us from the drudgery...lol.

Perception (Question #4 of 35)

Self-Awareness

In what ways are you being perceived, that you're not aware of?

Answering this question will require some additional research; nonetheless I will give it my best shot. I think I have a fairly good awareness of the perception those closet to me (friends & family) have of me. However, with my acquaintances it can be hit or miss sometimes, possibly because their varying moods dictate how they respond to my presence and/or actions. So I guess if you're reading this blog take a minute and leave a comment about how you may perceive me - day in & day out - in a way I may not be aware of it can be as brief or as long as you like. Thanks!!!

My Values (Question #3 of 35)

Self-Awareness

What are my values and am I being true to them? Write down the 3 most important aspects of each of these areas: family, friends, work, health, sex, and spirituality. These are your values. When we don't act congruently with what we value, symptoms of discomfort arise.


Wow this question really hits home, but honestly when I started writing these values down I felt really good about each one. Now have I been consistently been holding true to all my values (I plead the 5th...lol)? Well here we go:

• Family
• Protect the family name (I'm extremely proud of the stock that I come from, and over many decades my fore-parents have laid a foundation of respect, admiration, and in a sense nobility. On many occasions I have been afforded opportunities - denied to others - because of my lineage. And I don't want to tarnish that for future generations)
• Secure its survival ( I am the only male heir that my father has, therefore in order for his line to continue I have to do my part and reproduce. I don't take this lightly, however it takes a special woman to carry the Montford blood line - I can't entrust it to just any woman.
• Enjoy them (I share a closeness with my family, that for some reason is uncommon to most. We genuinely enjoy spending time together - eating, laughing, talking, etc. - whether its a special occasion or not. My cousins seem to be more like siblings than cousins, most of the time)
• Friends
• To be a "true" friend (In order to get a friend, you 1st have to be a friend. I have a very short list of people I actually consider to be a friend - but I have many acquaintances. I can be honest, forth-coming, and candid withe my friends on any subject or situation)
• Respect for their stance (Just because I have a small circle of friends doesn't mean we all share the same mind. Many of my friends come from different religious, cultural, and ethnic backgrounds. But regardless of our differences we can have conversations and not arguments, engage in dialogue and not debates, and at the end of the day agree to civilly disagree.
• Enjoy them (I consider my friends extended family - most of them at some point have interacted with my family and have been unofficially adopted anyway - so the same rules apply.)
• Romantic Relationships
• Give Love (This is one value I must admit I have not really held tightly to. Probably because of fear, the fear that I don't have what it takes to give love like I should)
• Receive Love (This one has also been a dozy for me, mainly because since I have been afraid to give love and don't feel it is just for me to receive it. It's a crazy notion, I know but just being candid.)
• Transparency (I have not been the most transparent person in these types of relationships. Not so much that I have anything to hide all of the time, its just don't feel the need to expose certain things. Maybe getting better at this value will be a by-product of getting the previous two values in check.)
• Work
• Do my best or don't do it all (As I get older I steadily get better at this - probably because I realize I don't have as much time to waste as I used to. But generally speaking its easy for me to give me best when its something I enjoy and/or I can see the direct benefit. It's a bit harder when my interest is very lax.)
• Improve everyday (I am to get 1% better everyday of my life. I enjoy the consistency of seeing myself getting better overtime.) 
• Enjoy what I'm doing (If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.)
• Health
• Physically sound (I have been an athlete my entire and its just a part of who I am to acquire and maintain top physical performance - as well as looks.)
• Mentally sound (I tend to read quite a bit a - philosophical, allegorical, instructional, improvement literature - so I'm always challenging my mental faculties.)
• Emotionally sound (Now this area traditionally has been neglected in my life. I guess because it's not as ease to understand, for logic and reason are rarely found in this arena. However, recently I have understood that I need to start getting in tune with this area of my life.)
• Sex
• Within the confines of marriage (Well I have already drop the ball in this area several times. But I have made a commitment to wait until I married before the next time I engage in sexual activity. But with marriage not in sight or even on the horizon, it's getting tougher with each passing day.)
• With only one person (A monogamous sexual relationship, almost seems like a foreign concept.)
• Please my partner (When I was younger I engaged in sexual activity purely for self-gratification. At that time, even pleasing my partner was for personal gratification. However, in recent years, I enjoyed pleasing my partner, just because...)
• Spirituality
• Seek God's (I have, in recent years began to earnestly began to seek God's face/glory/purpose for my life. It is a journey that has take me to and through situations that I could have never fathomed. 2 Chronicles 7:14)
• Hear God's voice (God speaks, not only to me but all of us, in so many ways. Sometimes through dreams, at other times through people, even through situations. I just earnestly want to be in a place where when God speaks to me - no matter how he speaks - that I hear his voice and can respond to it appropriate. I have really been working on this and it has been worth the effort so far.)
• Do God's will (This is probably the hardest thing to do because often times God's will is counter-intuitive to what society has programmed us to do. In short, it doesn't feel right. But Isaiah 55: 8-9 tells us, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than you ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." That works for me.)

Question #2 of 35

Self-Awareness

Why don't I do the things that I know I should be doing?

I quite sure the responses that I give to this question will like be typical to the responses that majority of people will give. But who knows I might be more atypical than I think. The #1 reason I probably don't do the things I know I should do is because of uncertainty; which is the precursor to confusion (not knowing if what I believe truly lines up with the actions that I "know" I should take), fear (afraid of the consequences of doing what I know I should do), frustration (irritated by the fact that doing what I know I should do is in direct conflict with what I want to do, also that performing the action probably will not get me closer to accomplishing a goal or task that is set forth in front of me). Also sometimes I would rather that someone else do what I know it is I should be doing (in this instance the task is usually unappealing to me, laborious, or just requires more effort than I am willing to put in). Then there are times when I already know what the outcome will be, by preforming the task and in the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that" (during these instances the outcome of performing the task is normally not in my favor or I get no direct benefit from it, so I don't want to be bothered with it. Last but not least sometimes I don't think I can afford ($) it (sometimes money gets tight and things are getting more expensive with each passing day, therefore - financial speaking - I may not have what it requires to perform certain tasks or perform certain actions). I guess from now on I guess a good idea would be to create weekly list of things that I "should" be doing and if I don't do them write down the reason/excuse to why the task/action didn't get completed. Hmm, that's not a bad idea...and I came up with it just now all by myself...LOL

Getting to know myself better...

Yesterday I was on Forbes website and ran across an article titled "The 35 Questions." The 35 questions that were in this article are the 35 questions the author has asked himself over the years to help maintain an awareness of who he is, and why he does/doesn't do things, interact with certain people etc. So in order to get a clearer glimpse at the "man in the mirror" I will, over the next 35 days as myself these questions as honestly as humanly possible. I figure if I do a blog about it I will have to hold myself accountable for answering the questions each day. (FYI: the questions are separated into categories: Self Awareness, Happiness / Peace of Mind, Perspective, Influence / Achievement, Business / Entrepreneurship, Catch-All).

 Self-Awareness

What am I pretending not to know? To be perfectly honest, I pretend not to know quite a bit. (Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil) The main reason is because I don't want to get caught up in any mess or foolishness that results from "knowing to much." (Or at least this is the excuse that I use to justify it to myself) But specifically things I pretend not to know: How I feel about certain people (normally in a romantic context), how people feel about me (also, usually in a romantic context), how I should make amends (make things right with people I have wronged, usually this is a woman), people look to me for guidance, encouragement, approval, inspiration (I try to stay low key but when others see you as a source for something positive and good they tend to put you on a pedestal - normally this is unintentional - and I don't like disappointing people because I can't live up to their grand expectations), what (romantic) love is (how to receive it, how to give it, how to recognize it), that people depend on me (I enjoy helping people and truly giving of myself - pouring into others - however I shy away from the thought that others depend on me for x, y, and/or z. This is because sometimes I get into my selfish mode and want to do what I want to do because I want to do it. But that selfishness is inhibited when you have others depending on you to always come through.